No…what you’re looking at isn’t a man walking down the beach with a pile of cottage cheese and fruit cocktail nor is it a man with a Shar Pei in a Hawaiian 2-piece.
This blinding pale vision of wilted floral beauty is the 86-year old Duchess of Alba with her 61-year old
man candy husband. These spicy little newlyweds were recently caught by the paparazzi strolling along the beach of Formentera, Spain. The Duchess wanted to show the love of her life the spot where she washed ashore in 1592 and began her life as a day-walking vampire who fed off the blood of bad little Spanish children who didn’t obey their parents.
OK, maybe that’s not true, but by the looks of her skin the Duchess was either fathered by an elephant or her body is actually made of dead jellyfish.
Regardless, I can’t say I support her decision to wear a bikini. Maybe if she wore the bikini under a robe – under a moo moo gown – under a Burka – inside her castle away from all windows – then MAYBE I could be down with that, but not “as is.”
I tip my hat to her lively consort. One night a month of Viagra and Courvoisier guarantees him a huge inheritance. And, she’s likely deaf, almost blind, wants dinner at 4:30 p.m. and is in bed by 6 p.m. This gives him the whole night to entertain young, freshly shaved, European gay boys who are willing to sex it up with an old man all for the opportunity to dance around naked by the Duchess’ pool wearing her jewelry and stealing her vintage Chanel handbags. It’s a win-win for everyone!