My Hollow Head

A view of the world from my perspective.

Born into a Southern Baptist home, raised around devout Catholics, baptized Episcopal, fascinated with Hinduism and wanting to convert to Judaism, my religious beliefs span the spectrum of greater deity worship. I know I believe the following:

  • There is a power in the universe greater than we can truly comprehend.
  • Coincidences are not actually coincidental.
  • Everything happens for a reason and as it should happen.
  • You get back what you put out.
  • Everything in the universe is based on balance – yen and yang/good and evil. To have balance, both sides of the scale must exist.
  • We are all here for a purpose…whether we like that purpose or not is irrelevant.
  • Bad things happen.
  • There is more life beyond this one.

I only mention the above to establish the fact that contrary to the perceptions others may have of me, I actually have a ribbon of spirituality that runs deep through my cold, black heart. Honestly, I’m not dead on the inside, but pretending to be robotic and void of a human soul does make it significantly easier to make it through the work week.

Understanding this about me is important to the development of the rest of this post…I promise.

Throughout my life I’ve had numerous personal experiences which have contributed to the spiritual and philosophical beliefs I referenced above. However, there is one that I continue to question – the possibility of reincarnation.

For as long as I can remember there are certain places, languages, eras, styles, etc. to which I’m strangely and unexplainably attracted. For instance, since the age of 4 I have felt compelled to learn French. I’ve always felt the need to live in New England (specifically the Massachusetts, New York and Connecticut area). I have always loved anything and everything Victorian and when given a choice of musical genre I have and always will choose the orchestral, jazz and big band melodies of the 1940’s.

Could these attractions be suppressed memories and remnants of past lives? Personal preferences and long lost loves permanently adhered to my soul now just replaying themselves in my current life? If nature can reinvent itself every season then couldn’t it be possible for other species of life to rejuvenate, too?

I don’t know if souls can be recycled. I don’t know why we are drawn to random things, why we make the same mistakes, or why I would pick to live a life that requires the necessity to work, sweat, poop or deal with idiots. But, what I do know is if I lived in the 1940’s I probably looked a lot like this:

Eileen Brennan (Mrs. Peacock from “Clue”) is 80 years old today!



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