My Hollow Head

A view of the world from my perspective.

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For the last two days I’ve read the plethora of seemingly heart felt resolutions plastered all over Facebook and Twitter. From dedications to living a healthier life to promises of unlocking the secret of the mythical work/life balance and re-connecting with God (what if your number has been blocked?) I can’t help but feel skeptical about the actual legitimacy of these proclamations. 

For some of these individuals I believe they truly have a desire to make a noticeable change in their life and the perceived magic associated with beginning a new calendar cycle gives them the ability more powerful than free will to force these changes in their lives – or at least the strength to try to implement behavioral changes in order to be happier, healthier, kinder, etc. And to these individuals I tip my hat, wish you luck and offer you my full support.

However, there are numerous others who posted long essays written more like personal confessions with elaborate and definitive tactics they plan to execute to protect themselves from falling back into bad habits and defying others to negatively affect them in the new year. They publicly denounce bullying, they plead for serenity, love and pledge to never again allow themselves to be victimized. Sadly, most of these individuals aren’t the victims and never have been victims. They define their sarcasm as “wit”, their aggression as “ambition” and their criticism as “helpful.” Their need to passive-aggressively strip others of their self-esteem, confidence and dignity all without proactive thought and consideration of others feelings is deplorable. Their lack (or care) of self-awareness is astonishing and reading their resolutions of personal improvement are nothing short of total hypocrisy. They are laughable and I quietly pity them.

I think the only way people can/will/may change their bad behavior is if others call them out on it. So, knowing how difficult that can be (especially in a work environment) I present to you a way to show the zebra it’s stripes without throwing yourself to the lions.

Here is a certificate that you can print off, fill out and leave in their chair when they aren’t around. In the space “Awarded by” write in the words “Your Conscious”. Let’s make 2014 the year of holding people to their word and humiliating them when they don’t. I hereby proclaim 2014 as “The Choose A Self And Stand By It Year.” Are you with me?

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