My Hollow Head

A view of the world from my perspective.

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For the last two days I’ve read the plethora of seemingly heart felt resolutions plastered all over Facebook and Twitter. From dedications to living a healthier life to promises of unlocking the secret of the mythical work/life balance and re-connecting with God (what if your number has been blocked?) I can’t help but feel skeptical about the actual legitimacy of these proclamations. 

For some of these individuals I believe they truly have a desire to make a noticeable change in their life and the perceived magic associated with beginning a new calendar cycle gives them the ability more powerful than free will to force these changes in their lives – or at least the strength to try to implement behavioral changes in order to be happier, healthier, kinder, etc. And to these individuals I tip my hat, wish you luck and offer you my full support.

However, there are numerous others who posted long essays written more like personal confessions with elaborate and definitive tactics they plan to execute to protect themselves from falling back into bad habits and defying others to negatively affect them in the new year. They publicly denounce bullying, they plead for serenity, love and pledge to never again allow themselves to be victimized. Sadly, most of these individuals aren’t the victims and never have been victims. They define their sarcasm as “wit”, their aggression as “ambition” and their criticism as “helpful.” Their need to passive-aggressively strip others of their self-esteem, confidence and dignity all without proactive thought and consideration of others feelings is deplorable. Their lack (or care) of self-awareness is astonishing and reading their resolutions of personal improvement are nothing short of total hypocrisy. They are laughable and I quietly pity them.

I think the only way people can/will/may change their bad behavior is if others call them out on it. So, knowing how difficult that can be (especially in a work environment) I present to you a way to show the zebra it’s stripes without throwing yourself to the lions.

Here is a certificate that you can print off, fill out and leave in their chair when they aren’t around. In the space “Awarded by” write in the words “Your Conscious”. Let’s make 2014 the year of holding people to their word and humiliating them when they don’t. I hereby proclaim 2014 as “The Choose A Self And Stand By It Year.” Are you with me?

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As the final hours of 2013 draw near I sit here in front of the computer conflicted. My intent was to share with you my mantras and resolutions for the new year. To publicly expel the troubles, trials and tribulations of the last 365 days and to profoundly project a renewed sense of optimism, promises of taming my inner shrew and demonstrate a sincere willingness to bury hatchets, clean slates and squash beef (special nod to Season 9, Episode 10 of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia”).

Instead, I find myself experiencing a whole new level of introspection and reflection. My ability to simply delete from the recesses of my over-active mind the build-up of dirty residue remaining from tarnished goals and expectations isn’t the mindless and automatic reset process of which I’ve grown accustomed throughout my life. For numerous reasons, 2013 was significantly more complex and difficult. It was a year of hard decisions, life-changing choices and pushing myself beyond personal limits I never knew existed. It was a year of tremendous inner growth and professional challenges. It was a year that I would never want to repeat, but also a year that I would never change – even if I could. 

With such a monumental year behind me why do I find myself unable to slip on a smile, conveniently initiate my selective memory sequence and cheerfully skip into 2014 spewing positive affirmations oozing of sugary sweet aspirations and dripping pools of rainbow colored hopes? While 2013 presented an array of twists, turns, challenges and obstacles to overcome it was a year of huge accomplishments for all of which I’m thankful of the outcome(s) and privately gloat with pride at what I achieved. So, those of you reading this who know me well may wonder why has the glow of my ever eternal silver lining outlook become overshadowed by a wave of melancholy malaise. I can only answer by saying, “I’ve changed.”

Perhaps saying “I’ve changed” doesn’t properly articulate my feelings. In fact, it would be a lie to say that I’ve “changed” when with the exception of some newly formed wrinkles, a few additional pounds and a continued noticeable loss of hair nothing about me has technically changed. More accurately stated – my experiences over the last year had a tremendous impact on my current emotional, mental and spiritual state of mind. The changes in my life, both positive and negative, initiated a necessary (some could say “long overdue”) personal transformation that has transitioned me from one point in my life to another. I can feel an evolution of self awareness surging throughout my body – a heightened realization and acceptance of who I am, who I want to be and what I want to accomplish in this life overwhelm me. I’ve become more acutely aware of the world around me and more confident in directing my worries towards things that truly matter and more easily disengaging myself from things that mean nothing or more importantly, do not affect me personally. It is liberating to free yourself from the chains that hold down others. While it is important to maintain a healthy sense of empathy for others I’ve omnisciently learned that I can’t bear their cross for them or judge them for their choice of wood for the weighted cross they carry.

This year I choose to forfeit the allowance of offering and sharing resolutions for 2014. Instead I will leave you with something to ponder as you consider embellishing in the tradition of making promises that you know in your heart of hearts you have no intention of keeping.

Thought is the sculptor who can create the person you want to be.” 
Henry David Thoreau

If the stroke of midnight magically erases the woes and mistakes of the previous year then you have a couple of hours to ask yourself – “who do you want to be?”

Wishing you a wonderful new year full of good fortune and happiness!

 

 

 

OK – let me start by saying “to each their own.”

Look, dress, smell, act however you want. Who am I to pass judgement on anyone? I’m sure there’s a large group of people in my life that if given the opportunity to point out all my flaws would nearly kill each other jumping in line to be the first one to read me for filth and videotape me crying profusely as they recite my numerous imperfections and destroy the thinly veiled illusions I call life. 

That said – where in the hell does she find clothes to fit? How can she possibly wash herself appropriately? How does she walk around without creating third degree burns on her thighs? Would she have her panties specially made by a tent and awning company? I wonder if her gynecologist ties around his/her waist a heavy duty bungee cord connected to a 1 ton steel anchor before an exam? So many questions that will never be answered. 

Maybe dinosaurs didn’t become extinct…maybe they evolved into humans like Big Booty Judy? 

Regardless, go on with your big bad self, Big Booty Judy. I wish you all the happiness in the world. Just don’t get too excited and start twerkin’ – I didn’t take out earthquake insurance on my house.

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I’ve been a terribly bad blogger. 10 months since my last post…and yes, I’m totally ashamed of myself. But, my absence will end on July 12 with a brand new post, a renewed dedication to the site and a sincere promise to share with you my thoughts on a whole bunch of stuff you probably couldn’t care less about. 

“Abby & Brittany” a new reality series on TLC

If you ever have a day of feeling sorry for yourself and wish the world would throw you a pity party then you’ll feel totally ashamed of yourself once you meet Abby & Brittany.

Words aren’t sufficient to describe Abby & Brittany, the 22-year old conjoined twins who have never allowed their “special-ness” to stand in the way of happiness. I’m so impressed on so many levels by these two – as so should you be, too. Check out the latest adventures of “Abby & Brittany” below:

http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/tv/abby-and-brittany/videos/london.htm

“Abby & Brittany” airs on TLC. Be sure to check your local listings for day/time and set your DVRs!

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